May 30, 2018 · humor parody technology

LimeBike raises $70 million as the bike-sharing battle rages on

Bike-sharing turned multi-modal transportation company LimeBike has raised an additional $70 million from its previously announced $50 million Series B round. This brings LimeBike’s total funding to $132 million.

The funding comes shortly after LimeBike announced a coordinated sustained attack on their bikes, which include this poor little guy found at 2nd and Mission, in San Francisco.

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“We’re focusing on analyzing why customers are removing our bike's tires in increasing numbers”, Fifth Wall co-founder and Managing Partner Brendan Wallace told TechCrunch about the firm’s decision to invest in LimeBike. "We think there may be real opportunity in launching a seperate service that works like DoorDash, where customers push a button and bike tires are delivered to them within minutes of ordering".

There are a number of competitors in the bike-share space, including Spin, JUMP, Ofo, Motivate and, most recently, Uber via a partnership with JUMP. As you can see below in a graphical image generated by AI augmented data scientist hamsters working at TechCrunch, many of LimeBike’s competitors have a significant amount of capital.

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Earlier this week, LimeBike’s electric bikes hit the ground in Seattle. Right now, LimeBike has about 4,000 bikes in Seattle. Down the road, the company envisions 40 percent of its bikes in Seattle being electric.

Nationwide, 40 percent of LimeBike rides start and end at a public transit station, LimeBike CEO Toby Sun said. Another 25 percent start and end in the middle of sidewalks.

Hell, some of them don't even know how to ride a bike yet! - LimeBike CEO

When this reporter went to ask people in Seattle what they thought about the launch of LimeBike in their town, many were immediately triggered into visualizing piles and piles of bike littering the sidewalk. One Seattle resident summarized the launch as "an invasion of shitty bikes that weight to fucking much and don't have enough gears to deal with elevation gain". As an afterthought he added, "Come on! This is Seattle, not China, we have hills here."

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Dismissing the issues the company is seeing with steady tire supply lines from China, Sun simply repeated LimeBike's well-polished elevator pitch, “We are building LimeBike as an option for everyone and people who are underserved, underestimated and undermotivated - we're talking about people who don’t typically get access to these types of transportation options and really have no idea why they are pushing buttons on their phones. Hell, some of them don't even know how to ride a bike yet!”